Rihanna, The Baffled
Beauty
By
Doris Allimadi
 After
they had been battered, I found that Black women, and in
particular
women of African extraction, were less likely to seek
help and outside support
for fear of stigmatization ....Whereas I do not condone
a man putting his hands
on a woman, other than in love, Rihanna made a decision
for herself; however
misguided the rest of the world may think this decision
is, it is her body, her
choice. Who made her the spokesperson for every battered
woman in this
world? Why lay such responsibility on the shoulders of
this young baffled
beauty?
Black Star News columnist says no matter how baffling
Rihanna's decision seems, it's not uncommon
I wonder why shockwaves are travelling through the world
because Rihanna was battered and bruised by her
boyfriend Chris Brown.
Everybody seems to be bewildered as to why after
suffering such horrific injuries she would choose to
reunite with him within a few weeks of this assault, as
has been reported. A woman being battered by an abusive
partner is nothing new, and neither is a woman going
back to or staying with an abusive partner.
Is the shockwave due to the fact that Rihanna is a young
beautiful celebrity? Is she not just another human being
and woman?
It is easy for the watching world to condemn Rihanna. We
would do well to remember that we are spectators, on the
outside looking in. Most of us, until faced with the
same horror, do not know what we would do, after the
shock has worn off.
The issue of domestic violence is one which has plagued
modern society and during a research I conducted whilst
writing a community project for The Children and Women’s
Trust, a U.K.-registered charity, I was amazed at the
scale of it and how different communities dealt with it.
I found that Black women and in particular women of
African extraction were less likely to seek help and
outside support for fear of stigmatization and being
ostracized by their families and in-laws; so they suffer
in silence, whereas Caucasian women were more likely to
reach out to outside agencies for help in dealing with
Domestic Violence.
I also found that most women did not consider their
husbands or boy-friends to be abusers because they had
only lashed out once; or only lashed out sometimes when
they, the women, drove them to it.
Domestic violence takes many forms; it is imperative
that we are educated on this. The most common is
physical assault, but it can also be emotional, verbal,
financial dependency and in most women who suffered
abuse other than physical, there was a misconception
that they were not in an abusive relationship.
Victimization by a partner can cause serious
psychological consequences where there was no history of
mental history before, with many women wrongly blaming
themselves and even providing excuses for the
perpetrator: "I drove him to it," or "he was under
pressure," or "he was drunk"; and the list is endless.
We do not know why Rihanna has reportedly reunited with
Chris Brown but she would be well advised to seek
counseling from a support group for battered women. This
is the first step in acknowledging what she suffered at
the hands of someone she loves and trusts, and also to
rebuild her self-esteem that must have taken a knocking
at the same time Chris Brown was knocking her about.
It will do her more harm to merely accept flowers and
expensive jewelry and internalize the pain and
humiliation that she has undoubtedly suffered.
There have been countless comments condemning Rihanna’s
decision, with highroller 33138 posting a comment on the
MTV.Com website, "It sets a terrible example for women
everywhere", and ladyofthelake says, "stupid, really
stupid", on TVGuide.Com.
Whereas I do not condone a man putting his hands on a
woman, other than in love, Rihanna made a decision for
herself; however misguided the rest of the world may
think this decision is, it is her body, her choice.
Who made her the spokesperson for every battered woman
in this world? Why lay such responsibility on the
shoulders of this young baffled beauty?
My research on Domestic Violence tells me that Rihanna’s
decision has nothing to do with stupidity, but rather
she is held back by memories of a brief but sweet
history she has made with Chris Brown.
Allimadi writes for The Black Star News from London
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